A survey of more than a hundred young couples identified six topics that cause disagreements most often - starting with lack of attention.
American psychologists said they were able to compile the first reliable survey of issues and topics that cause controversy in people who recently married. "Understanding the root causes of disagreement in a relationship," says Guilherme Lopes of the University of Auckland, "will help couples to mitigate controversial issues by anticipating potential conflict situations." An article by Lopez and his colleagues was published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences.
To begin with, scientists asked students to name topics that, in their opinion, can cause disputes and quarrels between newlyweds. About 80 options were selected from hundreds of proposals. Then, 107 pairs of volunteers were interviewed in detail, who, among other things, had to choose a subject about which they had been arguing over the past year and describe how often it happened.
After selecting 30 questions that the volunteers singled out especially often, psychologists divided them into six groups - six key topics that are especially "popular" among newlywed debaters. At the top of this list were accusations of lack of attention from the other half. This was followed by various problems and misunderstandings in sex life, family and personal finances, in matters of control ("who is in charge"), as well as household chores.
Based on this data, Guilherme Lopez and his colleagues even prepared a standardized questionnaire Reasons for Disagreement in Romantic Relationships Scale; it can be used by both psychologists and young couples themselves who are trying to sort out their relationships.
It is worth noting that the appropriateness of using such a test anywhere outside the group studied by the authors is highly questionable. The newlyweds surveyed belonged to a narrow group of young residents of the northern part of the United States - with appropriate circumstances and cultural backgrounds. For couples somewhere in Japan or Russia, the topics of dispute may turn out to be completely different.